Audacity

“I want all eyes peeled like a banana, men!” yelled the general into his radio. “These E.T.s could be planning anything.”

“Mandrake,” said the president, while taking another puff from his cigar. “Keep it in your pants. I don’t want one of these bastards shot until I say shoot.”

General Mandrake, putting on a compliant smile replied, “President Sterling, you say jump, I say how high. You have nothing to worry about, sir. I simply want the men to have their guns ready, not to jump them.” President Sterling responded with a grunt. He took a long drag from his cigar and blew the smoke into General Mandrake’s face. The general coughed a little before saying, “Sir, if you don’t mind me mentioning, I don’t believe I’ve seen you smoke before. It seems like an odd time to pick up the habit.”

“I don’t pick up habits, Mandrake,” said President Sterling with a piercing gaze. “This is to show those alien bastards I have balls and bravado; two things I wouldn’t expect…“ President Sterling’s eyes went up and down the length of General Mandrake’s body before he continued, “You to know anything about.”

While trying to hold back his fidgeting, and avoiding eye contact, General Mandrake said, “Well, sir, if I may be so bold as to say myself about myself –”

“We have movement on Santa Maria!” shouted a zealous soldier over the radio.

“You hear that, Mandrake?” said President Sterling, putting his cigar into his mouth. “Time for daddy to go to work,” and he began to confidently stride towards the opening alien spaceship, while General Mandrake followed behind him like a lost puppy. They were fairly close to the spaceship when the ramp extending from it had finished its descent to the Whitehouse lawn. When President Sterling saw the silhouettes of the aliens, standing in the opening of the ship at the top of the ramp, he stopped abruptly, causing General Mandrake to run into him, but this wasn’t a problem as the president was fortified like a brick wall and didn’t budge. 

President Sterling said sternly while squinting his eyes from all the light pouring out from the spaceship, “Balls and bravado, Mandrake… Balls and bravado.”

While soldiers surrounded the spaceship – with guns at the ready – and military helicopters maneuvered through the other spaceships hovering above, two aliens descended the ramp from the spaceship. The aliens looked like well-groomed cavemen and wore black cloaks over their black and silver banded collar suits. They made it to the bottom of the ramp and received a large cloud of cigar smoke to their faces.

“Would you mind not doing that?” said one of the aliens, while both aliens waved the smoke away.

“Good lord! They speak the king’s!” said a shocked General Mandrake.

“Yes, we do. You see –” started the other alien before being interrupted by President Sterling.

“What the hell do you Commies want, so I can get you off my lawn,” said President Sterling as he chewed the end of his cigar. The aliens looked at each other, confused, and then the one who was interrupted began to speak again.

“I am Isaac and this is Ishmael,” said the alien. “We, along with all our people who hover above, are refugees. You see, our people originate from Earth. I’m sure you’ve noticed how much we resemble man from long ago. Our ancestors had perfected the technology for interstellar travel, and felt the brightest and most capable individuals amongst the population should leave Earth to spread ourselves amongst the stars.”

“Amazing!” said General Mandrake, eyes full of wonder.

“But then there were dark times,” said Ishmael. “A leader named Aleman rose to power on planet Evangelion and convinced many that our kind was the cause of many wars and the hardships of many people. Aleman promised to rid the galaxy of our kind and did horrible things to achieve this goal. At first, not many others in the galaxy cared about the plight of our people, but after Aleman became too power-hungry, a massive war broke out in the galaxy. In the end, the Evangelion forces were defeated.”

“If the war is over, why have you decided to come back here?” asked General Mandrake.

“Our kind has come together to reclaim Earth,” said Ishmael. “It was originally and has always been – ours. Your kind will need to leave due to resource limitations.”

“Come again?” asked General Mandrake, but he was well aware of what he had heard.

“Shoot!” was the next thing heard, yelled by President Sterling. Isaac received a quick bullet through the head, but before Ishmael could get his, he pulled out a blue gun-like object with a triangular barrel and shot President Sterling in the chest. As soon as the president hit the ground, so did Ishmael.

General Mandrake threw himself to the ground and grabbed President Sterling. The president was spitting up blood, and the general yelled, “Help! Help! The president is down!” General Mandrake felt the president grab him, and it appeared he was trying to say something.

Moving his ear close to President Sterling’s mouth, General Mandrake could hear the president say softly, “Balls and bravado… Balls and bravado… Mandrake.”