The Greatest Thief

Le Renard was the greatest thief who ever lived and possibly ever will. With talents like his, he didn’t know how to live any other way, nor did he have any desire to.

Born in Andrésy, France, Le Renard’s father left the hospital before the boy was even named, and never returned, leaving him to grow up with just a mother, Marine, whose only occupation throughout her life was working at a laundromat. Growing up, Le Renard was still known as Henri Chapdelaine, and it appeared he would grow to be among the most useless of men, showing no great passions, interests, or talents.

One day, when Henri was 12 years old, Marine Chapdelaine’s boss was late paying her the money she needed for rent. Once she got the money, she had no choice but to send Henri to pay the rent while she finished her shift, or they would find their possessions on the sidewalk later.

While Henri was on his way to pay the landlord, he saw something strange going on with the two men walking in front of him; a tall thin man with a thick mustache pickpocketed the wallet of a fat man who looked as though he had a long hard career in construction. Henri had heard stories but had never before seen a thief in real life.

Intrigued, Henri followed the thief. He saw the thief go down an alley, so he did the same, but the thief was waiting for him. Pinning Henri up against the alley wall where no one could see them, the thief pulled out a knife and said, “You thought I won’t notice? Of course, I noticed you. Nothing goes unnoticed by Archambeau.”

“Who is Archambeau?” asked Henri while struggling to free himself.

“He is I,” said the thief, putting his knife closer to Henri’s throat. “And what are you? A tiny cop? Tell the truth! One cannot fool Archambeau.”

“No. My name is Henri Chapdelaine. I’m just a kid. Don’t hurt me.”

“If you are not with the police, then why follow Archambeau?”

“I saw what you did… With the wallet. It was amazing. I just wanted to know how you did it?”

The thief lowered his knife but did not let go of Henri. “You wish to learn the ways of Archambeau?” asked the thief.

“Uh, yeah. It looks cool.”

“Cool? This is no hobby for the faint of heart,” said the thief as he let go of Henri. “This is a life, and you’ve asked the best to teach it to you. Yes, Archambeau is the best. The best thief who ever lived. But why should Archambeau teach you?”

Remembering the rent money he had in his pocket, Henri pulled out the wad of cash and handed it to the thief, who grabbed it wide-eyed and lustful. The thief, with a large greasy grin on his face, patted Henri on the back and led him towards his future.

Henri never returned to his mother or his childhood home. He traveled with the thief Archambeau to the center of Paris so he could be taught the craft of thievery, and Henri would tell anyone who asked that Archambeau was his father, and everyone believed it.  Archambeau taught Henri tricks like the Dropped Wallet Trick, the Terrace Table Trick, and the classic Gold Ring Trick, and Henri took to it all like a fish to water.

When Henri was 23 years of age, he felt like he had outgrown the thief Archambeau, and he had been sick of hearing him refer to himself in the third person for a long time coming. The old thief Archambeau was blackout drunk when Henri took all of his money and all of his gold and left forever.

As a solo practitioner, Henri decided to leave the street game behind and upgrade to burglary. His first few attempts turned into unintentional home invasions, which turned out to yield little profit as he stole what little he could as he got chased out of the homes by the residents. The future seemed bleak, so Henri decided to go back to the old thief Archambeau and beg for forgiveness, but first he had to find him.

While searching the streets for the old thief Archambeau, Henri saw a pretty woman walk into a travel agency, causing him to have an idea. He would break into the agency and find out what local people would be out of town on vacation so he could burglar their homes with comfort and without interruption. This plan worked. Henri was seeing great success and was gaining a reputation as the local newspapers headlined “The Sligh Fox of a Thief, Putting Paris in Grief.” He liked that headline so much, that he decided to start leaving notes at the locations of his crimes that read “Le Renard.”

Unable to satisfy himself, Le Renard started to steal cars from dealerships, jewelry from jewelers, and art from museums; he eventually got away with the Liberty Leading the People, the Mona Lisa, and Van Gogh’s self-portrait. Le Renard was no longer a local celebrity but a world-class star. He started to travel outside of Paris, then outside of France, then outside of Europe to steal all he could that was deemed valuable. Le Renard was making unimaginable money and would give most of it away to those around the world he felt worthy of it, whether they needed it or not.

Le Renard grew into an old man, having no family or real friends, but possessing great guile and skill in the art of the thief. While checking into a hotel in Monaco, he saw a young man show off an expensive ring he was going to use to propose that night. The young man seemed like a good-natured soul with a bright future, who probably possessed true love for the woman he was going to propose to. Le Renard stole the ring, sold it cheap, and put the money in a book he was returning to the library.